My Thoughts On the “Powerful and Positive Things That Parents Should Tell Their Children Everyday”

Posted on by Weng Zaballa Leave a comment
Saying lots of “I love you”, “”Thank You” and “I’m Sorry” is very common in my household.  My husband and I trained our children to always say these phrases. While telling that  three important phrases often have positive impact on child development, I learned that there are other things that we should tell our children that will bring positive influence to them. 
You can do it, baby. Mama will catch you
Mama and Ate are so proud of you! 
(taken during Yohan’s summer kindergarten program graduation)
Exploring the nature together. Thea: This a bonsai Macopa plant
I’ve read an article about “13 Powerful and Positive Things You Should Tell Your Child Everyday” on the website ph.theasianparent.com.  I realized a lot of things after reading the article.  Saying I love you is not enough to show how much we love and care for our children.  Small children are like sponge, as they say. They absorb every words spoken and every action by adults around them while growing up.  That is why it is important to speak at act accordingly in front of them. 
Here are some of  positive and powerful words of affirmation to help children grow happy,confident and independent.
Do not give up
Whether it’s about learning how to ride a bicycle or solving Math problems, it is important to shower our children with words of encouragement. 
My eldest tells me that she finds Math subject quite difficult.  I, on the other hand, admit that sometimes I lose my temper during study time.  Aside from encouraging her to give her best shot and to be patient, the phrase “don’t give up” also fits me. We will work together to turn her present weaknesses into strengths in the future. 
I believe in you

My husband and I always tell and show the kids that we believe in their talents and capabilities. We are ready to support them and believe in them no matter what happens. 
You are clever / You are smart

When spoken in a positive manner, these words of encouragement will help children develop self-esteem.

Always do your best 

Teaching our children to always do their best and strive hard will make their lives better in the future.  I will bear this in mind!

We learn through practice

This is so true!  Practice makes perfect nga di ba? Just like teaching a child on how to tie a shoelace. With patience, they will learn to tie shoelace on their own.

I am here whenever you need me

Open communication and + sense of security are really important.  These words of assurance will help children to openly communicate with their parents.

I think of you when we are apart

I have to tell my children that I think of them whenever we are away from each other.  Nasanay na yata ako at sila din na nag-wowork ako ever since they’re born, kaya di ko ito masyado nasasabi sa kanila. Isang factor din siguro yung marunong na sila gumamit ng (landline) phone at nakakausap ko sila whenever they need something.

You make me so happy

Our bunso is the makulit na may great sense of humor in the family.  He never fails to amaze us with his funny antics. Ate and bunso are both thoughtful, too. They kiss and hug us a lot.

You can change your mind

At home, we don’t impose – especially when it comes to extra curricular activities. If at the moment, Thea wants to learn how to play piano, but decides to join art classes instead when summer vacation comes, no problem. It’s perfectly fine with us. We will support her hobbies all the way.

You are beautiful

Of course! mana sila kayo sa akin eh.  hahaha joke lang.  Kidding aside, as parents, we should be the first one to believe in our children and assure them that they are beautifully unique individuals.

How did you do that

Asking them these make them feel that we are interested in what they do.

Thank you

Children’s simple act of kindness and thoughtfulness should be reciprocated by saying Thank you.

You are really interesting

Arrgh! I’m sorry, I am (sometimes) guilty of saying the opposite lalo na pag paulit-ulit sila at maraming questions at pag may ginagawa ako.  

So that’s it! I am grateful that author of the article for helping realize my shortcomings as a parent.  I will do my best to be a positive parent.  Parenting, really is a tough job and requires continuous learning and practice.

Hope you enjoy reading! Do share your thoughts in the comments section below.

xoxo,

Weng




How to Deal with Sibling Rivalry

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Children growing as BFFs or bestfriends  is every parent’s dream. If your kids treat each other as best of friends, you are lucky. It is common for brothers and sisters to fight. I, experienced fighting with with older brother during my childhood days and when I was a teen I had a terrible fight a.k.a. world war with my sister because I was stubborn and kinda spoiled back then (being the youngest in a brood of 9). 
Now that I am already a parent, I witness numerous petty fights among two children. One Saturday afternoon, few minutes before our afternoon siesta, Yohan was hitting her Ate with a pillow. I repeatedly warned him to stop, he continued hitting her big sister. Thea got fought back and pushed her brother quite hard and the poor little one got a big lump on his forehead. I got scared, in fact Thea was shocked, too. She cried. I massaged Yohan’s forehead with cold compress. Thank God, nothing serious happened. 
I told Thea, that she, being the big sister should show love and affection towards her brother. She should be patient with him. 
So, why siblings fight? 
Jealousy and competition may cause sibling rivalry. According to Kids Health online magazie, Kids have unique personalities and evolving needs. Toddlers and preschoolers, for instance, are naturally protective of their toys and belongings. This is the usual reason why my kids have certain degree of misunderstanding. The older one often take away her baby brother stuff and he will aggressively react. 
Let me share these tips recommended by Kids Health on how to address this concern: 
  • As much as possible Dont Get Involved. Step in only when physical harm arises. Three steps to consider when getting involved – Separate kids until they’re calm, Don’t focus on who’s to be blame, and lastly, try to set up a win-win situation so that both of child benefits or learn something. 

         I am glad to say that I am practicing this thing, little by little. Whenever the two fight about what

         cartoon show to watch, I instruct Thea to use the other TV and leave Yohan alone. In that way, the   
        impending squabble is avoided. My constant reminder is to avoid pushing while playing as well as 
        hurtful teasing to avoid misunderstanding.  
  • Set house rules for acceptable behavior 
  • Don’t let kids make you think that everything always has to be fair and equal. Sometimes, one kid need more than the other. It’s a matter on how, we parents explain things to our children without hurting their feelings and don’t let jealousy prevail. 
  • Be proactive in giving your kids one-one-one attention directed to their interests and needs. 
  • Have fun together as family. Watch movie, or have a DVD marathon at home, do picnics, engage in art and crafts, and so on so forth. Don’t be glued to  IT gadgets too much. 
Most of all, show our children our unconditional love. Be a role model and maintain a peaceful relationship with our husbands and children. 

My Thoughts About Positive Parenting

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Even though my eldest in already 5 years old, I still consider myself as a new parent. I am struggling to apply positive parenting little by little. As a matter of fact, I have gathered and read several materials about positive parenting or positive discipline and trying my best to apply them in my daily life with my two children. I must admit, I am a type of person who easily loses temper and has the tendency to shout and spank my daughter when she misbehaves. This makes me feel guilty – in the sense that I fear that such act may affect my child’s personality like low-self esteem or other not-so-good characteristics in the future. It’s better late than never, as they usually say. I want to change my way of training my children to be better persons as they grow older.
To further motivate me to practice positive parenting, I will writing a series of posts regarding this here in my blog. First of all, let me give you a brief introduction about it. 
Positive parenting is about believing that children want to communicate with you (parents), listening to children, discussing with your children what you want to do,being clear about you want them to do, setting limits and boundaries, being firm and consistent, discussing misunderstandings between your and your children in order to develop a good problem-solving skills.  Meanwhile, positive discipline, an area of positive parenting is the type of child discipline that encourages the development of child’s self-control and promotes self-worth. 
I will share more methods and tips, so watch out for my next posts.